Tis Wednesday my dudes.
my only two moods ever are tenderness and hysteria
the harry potter books rated by mentions of how handsome sirius is
philosopher’s stone: no direct mention of sirius but hagrid gives harry a photo album with pictures of his parents and you know sirius is being actively handsome in at least a third of them (5/10)
chamber of secrets: a hollow, empty book (-10/10)
prisoner of azkaban: uncle vernon disapproves of sirius’ hair at the beginning of the book which means it looks sufficiently punk rock even after twelve years in prison. harry thinks sirius looks handsome in the photo from his parent’s wedding day and hp is super pissed off at that point so it must be an objective fact; other than that not a great time for sirius or his #look (7/10)
goblet of fire: sirius looks good even when his face is made of flames. feels true and right. (8/10)
order of the phoenix: an entire flashback devoted to the “casual elegance” of sirius’ hair and how good-looking he is. at one point he looks “rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so”. excellent stuff jkr. would get full marks except for my inability to accept the end of this book (9.5/10)
half-blood prince: one can only hope that sirius is keeping it fresh up in wizard heaven but who can say for sure (2/10)
deathly hallows: sirius is described as carelessly handsome in a photo, although im personally skeptical about how careless it was. ghost sirius is tall and handsome, as per usual. (8/10)
going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)
i dont know how else to put this but to approach books (or any media, really) solely for the sake of relatability is genuinely incredibly heartbreaking……to have such little (or such unwilling) imaginative scope that you cannot stretch yourself, even marginally, in a different direction to what you’ve known or are used to knowing when the very POINT of stories is to transport you somewhere else, into someone else, so you can do just that……..when fran lebowiz said a book “is supposed to be a door!” and george saunders said good prose “is like empathy training wheels” they were right!!! they were so so so SO absolutely entirely right!!!!!
my liege you cannot trust this buffoon. he doesn’t even begin every other sentence with “my liege.” he‘ll never whisper in your ear the way i do it, my liege. sire. your fuckableness